The Kids
- Abbie
- Apr 19, 2019
- 5 min read
Updated: Apr 22, 2019
Kids.
That's what this whole thing is about right? The kids.
I absolutely love children, I love working with them looking after them and teaching them. Being in their presence honestly brings me the most joy but as a parent, babysitter, teacher, sister or brother you know that joy is not always case when it comes to children.
It really isn’t all smiles, happy times and rainbows, everybody has bad days that includes kids.
As an au pair that lives with the children that she looks after, let me tell you it can be extremely difficult but it’s so totally worth it.
Relationships
The relationships that you build with your host children are indescribable, they very quickly become a huge part of your life and you fall in love with them fast, you suddenly can’t imagine life without having them in it.
They make you smile, laugh, cry and they drive you insane but you love them and you wouldn’t change them for the world.
Some weeks you might spend more time with the kids than the parents do. Not only do they become a huge part of your world but you also become a huge part of theres. You become an extra parent, an older sister, a role model, a shoulder for them to cry on, someone to cuddle them, comfort them when they sad and someone that they trust, someone that they can confide in maybe more so than their parents and most importantly someone that they love and admire.
Whilst it’s important that your host children love you it’s also really important that they respect you. It’s vital that they understand your also someone who is in charge and someone who they have to listen to. Which makes it key that in your relationship with your host kids you balance fun with sternness. You wanna set boundaries with your children and let them know from the get go that you won’t take no nonsense from them. Your the adult, your in charge and they do as you say.
Boundaries
It’s important that as soon as you arrive with your host family that you all discuss boundaries and rules. It’s important that the adults all work together; when it comes to the children, me and my host parents always work together and tackle any issues as a team. It’s important for you and also for the kids that your boundaries are the same if not it can get very confusing for them when it comes to what’s okay and what’s not.
On the other hand we’re all unique and we all deal with kids and their behaviour differently. This can also be good for the kids as it makes them open to a variety of different personalities and helps them develop socially.
This goes for consequences and rewards for your host children. You and your host parents have to discuss things to do and things not to do when they have misbehaved or if they have been good. Again it makes things run more smoothly and just genuinely makes things easier for everybody if you all just communicate and work together.
Bad days
Everybody has bad days this includes children in fact especially children, you tell them its time to tidy up their toys and it's like it's the end of the world. It's the way that you deal with it thats vital, each kid is different and will react differently. You'll quickly find out what triggers your host children, what helps them calm down and whats the most effective punishment and best rewards to be given.
Kid's very often throw tantrums; small ones, big ones, sometimes they last seconds and sometimes they last hours. I find one of the most important things when coming to tantrums or misbehaving in general and not only with my kids but with all kids is getting down to their level and always use a clam and quiet voice. Screaming and shouting back at them can often make matters worse it then turns into a screaming match of who can shout the loudest. Get down to their level and always maintain eye contact with them and calmly ask them what the problem is, it can also be how you word certain things so always make sure that you think about what your going to say to the child before saying it.
I know it can be difficult but try not to give in to your host children when they throw tantrums as it then makes them believe that its okay to act and behave like that because they then get what they want. A tantrum will not last forever it may last a few hours but I assure you they will get tired and they will give in eventually. Also do not say your going to do something and then don't follow through with it and also don't say something if you don't mean it for example; a lot of parents or people who look after kids in general will say "if you do that again we're going home" or "if you don't behave then you won't have dessert" nine times out of ten the kid will do it again but the parent or person in charge of the kid won't follow through on what they said, which then makes the child believe that they won't follow through on what they say and they can just continue to misbehave.
Kid's having bad days can also make you have bad days especially if it's on going it can suddenly all become too much. This is where you have to give yourself a break, remove yourself away from the kids and do something that you enjoy which helps you calm yourself or relieves stress. Doesn't matter what it is just make sure you get time to yourself because it can all suddenly become too much and that can sometimes make the children behave worse.
Some bad days I just wanna go into the bathroom and cry or I wanna go drive around and just drive into a field and scream as loud as I possibly can. And that's okay. You just have to try remember that it's just one bad day compared to all those good ones. Kid's don't mean everything they say and you have to really remember that and not let what they say get to you. They'll scream at you, tell you they hate you, that your the worst person in the world, they might hit you and throw things at you but you just have to remind yourself at the end of the day they're just kids and to them whatever it is upsetting them is important to them and you have to just go about it the right way, don't take what they say to heart because honestly they don't mean it.
It's really important that you have your own separate time away from the kids, this will make things easier and it will give you the needed break you might not even know or feel like you need. As an au pair your only contracted to work no more than 10 hours a day and no more than 45 hours a week. I'm lucky that I get weekends off to myself but some au pairs do not but they are contracted to have at east 1 full weekend off a month and we all get 2 weeks off paid a year.
Good days
For those bad days you have you'll get 100 good ones in return and I can assure you they'll make it all worth while. Being an au pair, well working or taking care of kids in general is so rewarding and to me it's one of the best possible jobs out there. When you get a smile or a laugh and when they come to you for cuddles or to tell you that they love you it really makes those bad days never exist. You truly fall in love with them and they become so incredibly important to you and you cherish all of those good days and good moments and they become the best memories, memories you'll never forget.
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