Adjusting & Evolving

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As an au pair your whole life becomes adjusting and making adjustments, adapting to new environments, new lifestyles, new people and new cultures. Thinking back to when I first arrived here from England, I feel like that was obviously one of the biggest adjustments I made over the course of this whole thing but in reality it wasn't. I feel like I was overwhelmed with all my excitement and adrenaline of arriving. That took over the other feelings and I adjusted without even knowing because of all the other feelings I was feeling at the time.

Like I said in reality you'd think that would have been the biggest adjustment but it was not. As most of you know a few months ago I moved from Charlottesville to San Francisco and it was definitely one of the biggest adjustments I've had to make so far.

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I remember having to say goodbye to C'ville and everyone in it, it broke my heart and looking back at my first day here in San Francisco. I remember thinking I've made the biggest mistake and I remember second guessing myself and the choice I had made. After a few days I realised that this feeling I was feeling was homesickness, I realised that I needed time. Everything here was so different, the people, the lifestyle, my new home and my new job, the roles and I wasn't sure if it was for me and if I liked it. I then realised it had only been a couple of days and that the reason I decided to do this was because I wanted a change and then when things changed, I was complaining about it. I realised I needed to adjust (again) and that things would just take time and it didn't help that I was missing what became home and all of my emotions were heightened. All I needed to do was give it time and everything would fall in to place and it did. I'm finally feeling settled, happy and this is starting to feel like home.

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I really think it's important for other au pairs to understand the importance of giving things and people time within this programme. As a first time au pair and arriving to your new host family things might feel different, you might miss your family and home but it won't feel like that forever. It's all normal and natural to be feeling that way. And if you're extending with a different family then understand that you'll also need time to adjust and get to grips with your new life because things will be different and you probably wanted them to be and thats why you decided to extend with a different family and it's really important to remember that when you're going through it.

Now if I'm being totally honest with you then now and then I do get that feeling that I made a mistake because I miss Charlottesville so much. Then I remember that's also home for me and so its only natural for me to miss it from time to time. It's the same as England sometimes on a rough day or when I'm down I think why did I even extend at all but its just because I miss it and my family, again thats natural. Then I remind myself that the city I live in is San freaking Francisco, its amazing here, the kids I look after are great, I've made some amazing friends and I've visited some incredible places and none of that would've ever happened if I hadn't of decided to move here. Now maybe I'm just still adjusting to my life here and maybe I just need some more time and if thats true then, so be it.

Adjusting is something that over time, over the course of my au pair experience I've become to understand. Time is key. Time is the only thing that will allow you to adjust and get use to the new things that are going on around you.

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